it's 1.45AM now.
i can't sleep.
Have you ever said something you REALLY wished you could take back. Perhaps something great was going on.. and you slipped. You said something that drastically changed the whole situation. That screwed everything up.
That's how i feel right now. SO FCKING SHITTY.
Does anyone know my sorrow? my angst? my pain?
Dear friend,
if you are reading this , which is highly unlikely unless those countless prayers actually do work and lead you here.. you need to know that i feel like shit.
you may think your course of action is the best for everyone, best for me.
Well, no, it sucks.
I feel useless , abandoned, and helpless now.
Surely that was not what you wanted me to feel?
If your gratitute was sincere and real - you would try to make things right instead of trying to avoid them like what you're presently doing. Avoiding your problems never solve anything.
If you dont want to make things right, and you want to leave this friendship hanging like that.. I really can't do anything. i can beg and pray.. but it's really just up to you.
i treasure you alot. i hope you treasure/(d) me too.
-alan.
life sucks.
was staring out of the window at 1.30AM.. taking in the nice view i have from my window.. letting the cool night wind blow through my hair. inhaling the !@$^@!# indonesian haze.
Looking down at the row of cars aligned far below.
Glancing at the sky.. the clear boundless sky.
A long way up.. a long way down.
i'm just stuck in the middle.
Why'd you want to live for.
a great song.
a better question.
